Have you ever imagined life filled with joys and no sorrow ? Sometimes we used to think that life is filled up with pain and suffering. I just felt like sharing my thoughts on this life. I still remember my class when my professor asked us a question, What is life ? and there came many answers while one said life is a book, it’s a journey, it’s a Rollercoaster and it just went on.
When I unfortunately got my turn to answer, without a second thought I just said Life is a mistake. I still used to think where did this thought even came from. I lived a life of comfort all the time but still why did I say it’s a mistake. Was it a mistake made by God ?
Why do we always see life to be so optimistic while it always keeps us troubled. I know, optimism is required but it’s not necessary all the time. Sometimes why do we people don’t accept the reality at all ? Many of you might consider that my POV is totally absurd, negative or you may even find reading what I’m writing now is of no use. But I wanted to justify my answer here. I lived a life where I was pampered to the core and I never worried about my schooling or rank or marks. My grandma was the one who loved me and cared for me a lot and I never searched for my mom at all till I turned six. I lived the life of Prince Siddhartha nearly for the first 6 years of my life. I never saw any sorrow that existed beyond the four walls. My world was filled with chocolates and whatever I wished for, it just came within seconds. From age six, I started to live with momma and momma has never let me down, not even once. She was totally the opposite one when compared to my Grandma. Momma made me into a well disciplined kid. Life went on and she kept me at a very good comfort zone. Oh, so then when did I even started to consider life as a mistake ? Why would such a child and an adult now, would consider life as a mistake ? You’ll understand that as you read it further.Â
My perspective towards life started to change during the pandemic time when I counted those days of quarantine and those sleepless nights, panic attacks and so much of medicines. This is what all life is,was my only comment at that time. Later I don’t know why but personally I saw so many people betraying me and I couldn’t actually accept it. Death of my Grandma washed away those fake colours of my dear ones within months. I just realized the reality. For a girl who believed everyone are too good, it was really tough to take those changes in life. Grandma’s death changed me totally and I went through a great trauma. Life turned hard when my own grandfather couldn’t recognize me. He raised me like a princess and I was his all time favourite and he just turned to forget me. People around us are actually more venomous and we still consider them as relatives. I’m not offending every people here but still it’s what I saw. It was really tough to handle those people. The world which we consider beautiful has a very worse side filled with jealousy, greed, lust and dirt. It’s polluted and we humans live a life here. How can we call life as a beautiful journey now ?
Life is not actually what it looks like. I felt the four things that Sakyamuni got troubled of. The four Shi-ku or the Universal sufferings – Birth, aging, sickness and death disturbed me a lot. It’s not the fear towards these things but fear towards life. What is the sole purpose of this so called beautiful life ? We grow, earn, run behind money throughout the life just to die someday or the other. We don’t own anything what we earn now or take it along with us. Finally when we age, we lose our health and depend on someone for everything. Why is it so ? Why should we run behind this materialistic life all through the life, just to lose our real wealth and finally leave the world with nothing. When we get sick, we undergo so many pain and sufferings, and it really pains to depend on someone for everything. I’ve personally felt it when I got sick. We spend for hospitals and we live an unhealthy lifestyle when compared to our ancestors. Why would I call my life as a beautiful painting ?Â
What’s the real purpose of this life NOW ?
We earn to spend and we spend to survive.Â
Beautiful race called life finally ends with nothing. We are mortals and we never understand our real purpose for this life. Every one of us have different purpose but do we actually try to find it ? Man with money and wealth is well respected while sufferers are always suffering and they’re not given the same thing like a wealthy man. This life is not equal for anybody except in birth and death. Why should we see the life in an optimistic manner ?
I’m not trying to influence anyone of my readers and make them believe that life is a mistake. Rather I’m trying to make my readers realize what the actual reality is. Holding grudges, wearing different masks to different places and acting accordingly to the society and living for people around us – Is this why we call life is a Rollercoaster ? How many of us are pure enough with no impurities in us ? How many of us are really living a happy life ? Are we really free from coldness and jealousy ? I have always wanted to seek the real purpose of my life and I’m still in the process of searching it. Still searching for the little girl, with a real smile and pure heart, who knew nothing about the world and who was lost long ago, who died long ago. I just want to hug her and say – You need to take rest for eternity, my dear !
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