As I’m growing everyday, I’ve realised that I’ve stopped laughing, smiling on simple silly things. When I was young even a blow of breeze would make me happy. I was used to feel everything. It does sound wierd but I was used to feel the nature around me. It was the chirping of the birds, the sweet gentle breeze, different faces of the moon, the sun rays everything around me would make me happy. It was that warm feeling in me about which when I think know I can only feel it fading away.
It’s not like these feelings are competely gone but the coldness inside me has become so strong to overpower this warmth of myself. The girl who was used to think about everything emotionally has changed slowly and started using her logic to question and argue on everything. When you realise that the breeze, the moon, the nature to which all the poets describe so beautifully in those intricate words which make you to feel like they are as alive as living being have some simple logic what would you prefer to put believe on.
As time pass by, I realise that it is not easy to keep yourself always happy, it’s not easy to always do whatever you love. And somehow it hurts more now. In childhood we just cry when we don’t get what we wanted but and on that time it was hard to understand the reason. On that time we cry because we were just too much focused to get our favourite thing at any cost. But now, when I can understand the reason behind not getting everything I want, I still cry. But this time these cry are more of a silent type. It’s like you’re dying inside but you have to stay alive, if not for yourself then for the people who love you or for whom you love.
It is a feeling of being lost somewhere in this ocean of people. It is a feeling in which you want to speak about your problems as loud as you can but you can’t because everyone is facing their own problems in their life. You are not the only one who is facing those thing right now. But still you live with the hope that one day you will get what you want but sometimes that day never comes. As you become old all the lessons, memories and hopes that you are carrying with yourself die with yourself.
So, should we stop hoping about things we want? Should we stop putting efforts on the things about which we partially know that it won’t work? And if we partially knew that we won’t get the things we want then why were we trying to get it. Those hopes are something that makes us different, that makes us happy on getting even a little succes and that success again ignite the spark of our hope. Well it’s hope because of which we are alive. We get motivation to do and try new stuffs in life. It is the hope because of which we enjoy even simple things in our life.