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The cat who wouldn’t meow

7th January 2024 | 3 Views

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Tabitha was no ordinary tabby. For one thing, she couldn’t meow to save her nine lives. From the time she was a tiny kitten, whenever Tabitha tried letting out a meow, what came out instead was…


That’s right, poor Tabitha could only moo like a cow rather than meow. And not just any old boring “moo” neither – her moos came out sounding like a freestyle rapper going to town. 

“Moo moo MOOTHHHERRR mizzle in the hizzle, ain’t nuthin’ bizzler than a cat who spits rhymes like KITTEN!”

which roughly translated from Tabitha’s eccentric dialect meant: “Greetings my fellow felines, there is nothing more unique than a lyrically gifted kitten such as myself.” 

Naturally, this caused all manner of problems. Tabitha’s cat mother feared something was terribly developmentally wrong. The local tomcats laughed themselves silly at her weird non-meows. And humans who encountered Tabitha just scratched their heads in confusion at the cow-cat hybrid. 

But one day, Tabitha wandered into a recording studio. When she tried vocalizing and let out a “Moo moo MOOTHHHERRR!” the producer’s ears perked right up. 

“That’s genius! Get that rap cat in the booth – STAT!” 

Soon, Tabitha was laying down fierce rhymes over sultry beats and frequently featured as a guest MC at catnip-fueled feline parties. Word spread like wildfire and her viral moo-tracks landed Tabitha a record deal. 

Finally, her one-of-a-kind mooing vocals were making her the hey-there-kitty celebrity she was destined to become. Because sometimes, even when you’re born a cow-tongued cat…if you keep spitting bars long enough, you go from mooing to mewving on up!

Kotoru Herkeo



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