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[Cupid’s Outlaw] Chapter 1: What If

asirae venLast Seen: Jan 8, 2024 @ 1:31am 1JanUTC
asirae ven
@asirae

29th December 2023 | 12 Views
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 CHAPTER 1: WHAT IF 

“Excuse me,” sabi ko sa mga babaeng nagsisiksikan sa harap ng board.

Halos pagalawin ko na lahat ng ugat ko sa katawan para lang pigilan ang pagkunot ng noo at pag-irap ko sa mga ito. Bakit kasi hindi na lang sila umalis kung tapos na sila? Kung kani-kanino pang mga pangalan ang hinahanap nila!

“Excuse me!” medyo mas malakas kong sabi kaya nakuha ko ang attention ng ilan. Mahihiya na sana ako sa ginawa ko pero mukhang natauhan naman ang mga babae at medyo gumilid kaya naisip kong okay lang ang inasta ko.

Lumapit ako sa board at hinanap ang pangalan ko. Wala pang isang minuto nang nahanap ko ang section pati na rin ang schedule ko. Kinuhanan ko lang ‘to ng picture tapos umalis na ako sa kumpulan na ‘yon dahil nagsisimula na akong pawisan.

See, people? Ganon lang naman kabilis ‘yon! Ewan ko ba sa mga babaeng ‘yon ba’t ang tatagal. Siguro pati pangalan ng mga crush nila, hinahanap pa. Tsk.

Bago ko binalik ang phone ko sa handbag ko, chineck ko muna kung may text akong nareceive pero wala. I frowned.

I looked around to find a place to stay and when I did, kaagad akong dumiretso roon. Based on my new schedule, 10:00 AM pa ang first class ko ngayong araw and 7:04 AM pa lang naman so I had nothing to do but bore myself to death.

Pinapanood ko ang mga students na dumadaan sa harapan ko habang nakaupo ako sa isang bench sa ilalim ng puno.

How come they’re already laughing with some friends while I’m just here, sitting alone and being pathetic?

“Konti na lang kutis ampalaya na ‘yang noo mo sa sobrang kunot.”

Napatingin ako sa nagsalita at umirap dito. “Just when I thought I was completely mastering my degree in Bachelor of Faking, Major in Hiding Frustration,” sabi ko rito.

Tinawanan ako nito at umupo sa tabi ko. “Ano bang nangyari? You’re unusually grumpy.”

Pagkatanong na pagkatanong pa lang ni Spencer, naalala ko na naman ang pinag-uugatan ng inis ko ngayong araw. Ugh, badtrip talaga.

“Wala. Mali lang ng gising,” sabi ko na lang. She’s my only friend since lumipat kami rito but it’s not like I can tell her about it.

She shrugged. I was relieved when she decided to just drop the topic. She knew me. Alam niyang hindi ako nagsasabi ng totoo pero alam niya ring ayaw kong pag-usapan at hindi ko rin naman sasabihin kung nagtanong pa siya.

“Look at them,” biglang sabi niya. “I know they are a good match but… aren’t they pure perfection?” Halos maghugis puso pa ang mga mata niya.

Sinundan ko ang tingin niya. I saw Schreider Felix and Aeiana Sanchez from a distance. Holding hands while walking. Nagngingitian pa sila na akala mo hindi na nila makikita ang isa’t isa bukas.

Palagi ko silang nakikita noong Grade 10. Okay naman ako sa kanila. In fact, I admired their relationship. Pero ang makita sila ngayon…

Lalo yata akong nabadtrip.

Hindi ko naiwasan ang pag-ikot ng mga mata ko nang inalis ko ang tingin ko mula sa kanila. Nakita yata ni Spencer ‘yon dahil tinawanan niya ako.

“Jesus, Jillia! What’s your problem? It’s our first day as Senior High students. Loosen up!”

Yep. First day and it’s already a big mess.

“You don’t understand.”

“You won’t make me understand.”

I pouted. She’s right.

Mahina siyang tumawa. “See? Hay nako, bahala ka. Just smile! Mapagkakamalan kang maldita, sige ka,” panakot niya pa which made me roll my eyes.

“Palagi naman akong napagkakamalang maldita.”

Noong malapit na mag-10AM, tumayo na ako para pumunta sa room ko. Mag-isa ulit ako dahil kanina pa nagpaalam si Spencer because 9AM ang first class niya.

Pagpasok sa room, naghanap lang kaagad ako ng bakanteng upuan at umupo. Ni hindi ko tinapunan ng tingin ang mga kaklase ko o ang katabi ng napili kong upuan.

I immediately fished my phone from my bag. Wala akong pakialam sa kahit ano at the moment maliban sa phone ko. I didn’t even care if my classmates really found me a snob.

Nilipat ko ang tingin ko sa screen. Wala pa ring text. Kanina ko pa ‘to palihim na chinicheck. Paulit-ulit. Hanggang ngayon wala pa rin.

What’s taking him so long?

I was still sulking when the professor entered our classroom. I was a bit surprised kaya nailagay ko bigla sa bulsa ng skirt ko ang phone.

Minutes later, bored lang akong nakaupo sa upuan ko habang nagdidiscuss ang prof. Wait, was he even discussing? I didn’t know. I was too upset to look at what he’s doing… or to even care. Sana pala ay hindi na lang ako pumasok.

Just then, my phone vibrated. Halos tumalon naman ang puso ko at kahit may pagkaingat kong nilabas ang phone ko sa bulsa ko, hindi pa rin nawala ang pagka-excite ko. I knew he’d reply!

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When I looked at my phone, my shoulders fell as fast as hope did. It was a text from mom.

Lalo akong nainis. Hindi ba talaga siya magtetext?!

“Miss Fuentes?”

“H-huh?” Napaangat ako ng tingin. Nakatingin silang lahat sa akin. Bakit nakatayo ang iba? “Yes sir?”

“Please take the seat beside Mr. Felix.” May tinuro siyang upuan. Inikot ko ulit ang tingin ko. So he wasn’t really discussing, after all?

“Mr. Guevarra?” narinig ko pang tawag niya sa isa ko pa yatang kaklase para ipagpatuloy ang pag-ayos ng seating arrangement.

I shrugged. Whatever. Tumayo na lang ako at umupo sa pwestong tinuro niya. Sa pwestong katabi raw nung Felix.

Inaayos ko ang bag ko sa ilalim ng upuan ko nang matigilan. Wait… Mr. Felix?

Felix was not a common surname, and the only Felix that I knew was…

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa kaliwa ko. “Schreider.”

Holy macaroons. It is him! It’s the one and only Schreider Felix!

He’s my classmate? Not just my classmate, but my seatmate.

Napatingin siya sa akin. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay dahil siguro sa bigla kong pagtawag. But nonetheless, he nodded, acknowledging my presence.

Ang sungit. Doon lang ako natauhan. What’s the big deal, Jillia? I mentally shook my head. I was making a fool out of myself. On. The. First. Day.

“Nice to meet you,” sabi ko na lang dito, hoping he wouldn’t say a thing para hindi na rin ako magsalita. The last thing I expected to happen today was to converse with the oh so famous Schreider Felix.

Fortunately, hindi na nga siya nagsalita. He just smirked. Wait, para saan ang smirk na ‘yon?

Well, bahala na siya. Chineck ko na lang ulit ang phone ko pero wala pa rin. I tried to comfort myself dahil ako lang naman ang makakagawa noon sa sarili ko.

I sighed. Baka mamayang uwian, o mamayang gabi, mag-text na siya. I’ll just wait.

Nang matapos ang klase, sa sobrang excited kong makaalis dito, akala ko ako ang unang lalabas sa classroom pero naunahan ako ni Schreider.

Okay. So mas atat siyang makaalis dito kaysa sa akin. Fine.

Naglalakad ako sa hallway nang makita ko ulit siya sa labas ng ibang classroom. Kahit hindi ko siya panoorin ay alam ko na ang ginagawa niya dyan. Of course, he’s waiting for his girlfriend. Wala naman yatang hindi ginagawa ‘yan para sa girlfriend niya and vice versa.

They were just so madly in love na gusto ko na lang ibato ang phone ko dahil hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin nagtetext sa akin ang taong kanina ko pa hinihintay!

Nakapangalumbaba ako sa railings ng balcony ng kwarto ko habang tinititigan ang phone ko kahit wala namang bago. Kung nakakatunaw lang ang tingin ko, kanina pa lusaw si Cookie Monster na lockscreen ko.

I looked at it again and sighed for the Nth time. Babe, magtext ka na please.

I scrolled through our messages and read our last convo na kahapon pa.

Babe kain ka na lunch
para sabay tayo 🙂
Kumain ka mag-isa.
???
May problema ba tayo?
Babe?
Jill.
Sino yung inaakbayan mo
sa tinag sayo ni Ace?

Napapikit ako nang maalala ko na naman ang nakita kong picture sa Facebook kahapon. Kung alam ko lang na hindi siya magrereply, sana hindi ko na lang siya inaway. Sana pinalampas ko na lang. Sana hindi ko na lang pinairal ang selos ko.

Kung kanina ay umaapaw ang inis ko, ngayon gusto ko na lang na magtext siya. Kahit late, basta magtext siya. Kasi kapag hindi, parang gusto ko na lang umiyak. Miss na miss ko na siya tapos ang tagal niya pang magpaparamdam. Tumingin ako sa taas as I fanned myself with my own hand.

No, Jill, don’t cry yet.

I sighed again. Bahala na nga. I would try not to care about who that girl was, basta magkaayos na lang kami.

My fingers typed faster than the usual like they knew all too well what to say.

Babe :((((( Sorry na. Galit ka ba?
Wag na please. Happy 18th.
I love you.

I didn’t think twice before sending it. Pride didn’t even ring a bell.

Today’s our 18th month and whenever it’s our day, babati siya kaagad 12:00 AM pa lang. That’s why I was really sad and upset simula kaninang umaga dahil hindi pa siya bumabati and that’s his first time not to greet me first thing in the morning.

Magtatampo na yata ang lips ko dahil kanina pa siya nakapout when my phone rang. Automatic naman na nabuhay ang kaluluwa ko lalo na nang mabasa ko ang pangalan ni Spade. Kulang na lang eh tumalon ako sa sarili kong balcony. Hindi pa natatapos ang unang ring nung sinagot ko ‘to.

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 “Babe…” I almost made it a whisper but my voice was full of both relief and excitement.

“Babe, happy 18th!” he greeted too enthusiastically and just like that, all my worries and frustration vanished. I knew I should hate him for what he did, but after hearing his voice again, I just couldn’t find a reason to.

“I’m glad you remembered.” I just couldn’t believe how much I was smiling at the moment. It’s as if I had never smiled before. Ganun katagal ba akong nakabusangot?

“I always remember. Hindi lang ako nakabati kaagad dahil sunud-sunod ang gig. Are you mad?” malambing niyang tanong.

“When did I ever get mad at you?” I snorted.

He chuckled. “Well, the last time I checked, you’re mad at me.”

Naalala ko ‘yong kahapon. Sasabihin ko na sana sa kanya na wala na ‘yon and that we should just probably forget about it nang nagsalita ulit siya.

“Babe… look, I’m sorry, okay?”

Sorry? Bigla akong kinabahan. Was he… oh my God.

“Spade, are you… are you about to end us?” I asked almost inaudibly, also unsure of myself.

Natigilan siya sa paghinga. “What?! No, Jillia, what the hell. Why would I want to end my life?”

Nabunutan ako ng tinik nang nakarinig ako ng panic at takot sa boses niya. He didn’t want us to end, too. God, why did I even think of that? Masyado akong paranoid.

“Then why are you sorry?”

“Because you were mad, babe. And you shouldn’t be. That girl in the picture, she’s just a fan, alright? Nothing more, not someone special and definitely not you. Just a mere fan,” he said in his calming voice.

Isang malaking tinik na naman ang nabawas sa akin. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. “Of course. A fan,” ulit ko.

“Just a fan,” he assured and that made me smile. He was Spade De Vera, after all. Of course he has a lot of fans. Ano bang iniisip mo, Jillia?

“Babe? Are we good?” I could hear his worry from the other line.

Lalong lumaki ang ngiti ko. “Better than ever. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

Ilang minuto na mula noong ibinaba ko ang linya pero nakatitig pa rin ako sa phone ko.

It had been a year since my family moved here in Greenwest Hills. I grew up in Manila and right before my 10th grade, my parents suddenly decided to move here for a reason I still wasn’t aware of.

I knew that it would be good here but it took me so hard to just leave everything behind. Hindi naman sa masyado akong clingy sa dati kong friends and napamahal sa dati kong school. Leaving them was fine with me. Pero leaving Spade… it almost shattered my world.

I was too young to handle a long distance relationship, but to hell with age and kilometers, my love was infinite and definitely greater than anything.

I would do everything for him. Mag-video call even after a tiring day, o kahit tumakas at lumuwas sa Manila every time he wanted to see me, I had done it and I would still whole-heartedly do it.

I sighed at pumasok na sa loob ng kwarto ko. Humiga ako at pumikit. It had been months. I had experienced a lot already… but I still had the same doubts, the same questions, the same What Ifs.

Kung ano ang inaalala ko noong unang araw ko rito, iyon na iyon pa rin ang bumabagabag sa akin ngayon.

Sobrang layo ko kay Spade. Paano ko siya babantayan? Paano kung lalong dumami ang umaaligid sa kanya at wala ako? Paano kung makahanap siya ng iba? Paano kung lalo silang sumikat at mas maraming magkagusto sa kanya? Paano na kapag sumikat sila ng sobra? Paano na kapag may nagkagusto sa kanya at magustuhan niya rin ito?

Paano kung… paano kung makalimutan niya akong mahalin? Lalo na’t… I sighed and shook my thoughts away.

We’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.



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about the copyright

Copyright © 2023 by @asirae

All rights reserved. This original work is a product of the author’s imagination. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the author’s prior permission.

 

about the book

In the world of ‘Cupid’s Outlaw,’ defying conventional rules in matters of the heart brands one an outlaw. Jillia Fuentes finds herself entangled in a secret relationship with Spade de Vera, a famous band vocalist, while silently yearning for the seemingly picture-perfect romance exemplified by her schoolmates, Reider Felix and Aeiana Sanchez.

However, fate intervenes when Reider unexpectedly becomes Jillia’s seatmate. As circumstances draw them together, a surprising and forbidden love blossoms between them, throwing them into a whirlwind of emotions, desires, and moral dilemmas. Join Jillia as she navigates the complexities of love amidst uncertainty and challenges, ultimately risking the status quo as Cupid’s Outlaw. 

This novel is updated weekly, every Saturday at 19:00 or 7:00 PM PHT, both on Milyin and Wattpad by the same author, @asirae. Catch the latest chapters a week in advance on Milyin before they arrive on Wattpad!

 

about the author

@asirae is a zealous daydreamer whose wild imagination serves as the cornerstone of her storytelling. Inspired by the worlds that unfold in both daydreams and night dreams, she translates these ethereal visions into captivating narratives.

Driven by the desire to bring these fantastical worlds to life, @asirae crafts tales that resonate with authenticity, blurring the lines between reality and the surreal. When not lost in the world of storytelling, she enjoys designing landscapes, watching anime, and reading dystopian YA novels.

Follow @asirae on Twitter and Instagram to stay updated on her latest projects and writings.

 

 

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asirae venLast Seen: Jan 8, 2024 @ 1:31am 1JanUTC

asirae ven

@asirae

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