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An amateur’s approach to empathy

16th October 2023 | 170 Views

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Not so long back, in 1987, the term “EQ” (emotional quotient) was discovered by Keith Beasley which marked the beginning of a new era in the world of psychology. Further, the term was defined and redefined, people with higher EQ were classified and their traits were studied and in conclusion, loads of research work followed. To, this date, EQ is said to have following components: 

  1. self awareness 
  2. empathy
  3. social skills 
  4. self regulation
  5. motivation

I will of course not get into the intricate details of the following terms, in case you are jaded and wondering, except our main focus “empathy”.  Empathy is defined as the ability to understand other feelings and act accordingly. Now, as simple and possess-able attribute this may seem, Half of us are not remotely as empathetic as we make ourselves to be because if it were the case then we would not get mad every time our parents directed a bitter diatribe towards us for no good reason but would rather try to lighten their mood. (this only works if you aren’t ACTUALLY at fault). As, this article targets the audience my age mainly, I would like to add that next time something disruptive hinders your social relations due to someone’s impertinent and ignorant behavior, try asking yourself the reason or the triggers of one’s behavior. which, obviously, always wouldn’t be there. So, refrain yourself from becoming a doormat instead of empathetic. 

Acquiring empathy will  not only enhance your EQ but will also help you understand the power dynamics that often influences social relationship which in my personal aspect has helped me more than anything in more formal and conventional settings.

As the saying goes “every coin has two sides” so, if one aspect of being an empath is understanding other and influencing people, the other side is that you understand a lot. For example. A child with workaholic parents understands the reasons for their parent’s frustration, lack of time and affection in some cases but he can not express his feelings by shouting or throwing tantrums because he UNDERSTANDS but at times, even when he attempts to throw one, his parents ask him to be more empathetic which he obviously is but he just wants to express his feelings in peace. This, for a fact has happened to a lot of us but every time our own feelings seemed very ambiguous. 

At the end, I am still an amateur who is learning and un learning things but what I have felt or say, experienced till now that it’s important to create  a bridge between understanding and expressing. You can’t be too understanding if you want to live without being emotionally frustrated and you can’t be too expressive or irrational and call yourself an empath. 

Iam sirius
Iam Sirius



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