Why I Stopped Labeling People
Today, I had a meaningful personal insight that I plan to apply to my daily life. This realization came to me suddenly, and I am excited about putting it into practice. I believe this new understanding will have a meaningful influence on my well-being. What I want to share is about labeling someone. I’m talking about labeling a person based on certain personality traits you observe often because of how they have treated you, can be misleading.
Sometimes, with so much content from vloggers and medical professionals about certain behaviors, people might label others based on these descriptions. I used to do the same; whatever I watched or heard about certain traits, I would immediately apply those labels to people I encountered who fit the descriptions.
For example, when a vlogger discusses signs of manipulative behavior—such as being deceitful, overly charming, controlling in indirect ways, or twisting the truth to suit their needs—they might label these behaviors as “manipulative.” Similarly, when a medical professional describes traits of narcissism—such as needing constant praise, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain—they might label these behaviors as “narcissistic.”
As viewers, after watching this content from vloggers or medical professionals on social media, we may come across someone who displays behaviors and patterns similar to those described. For instance, if a vlogger or medical professional discusses traits of manipulation or narcissism, and we encounter someone who acts in the same way or treats us similarly, we might be quick to apply the same labels to that person.
This can happen because the behaviors we observe align closely with the “criteria” or descriptions provided by these sources, leading us to make judgments based on the information we’ve gathered rather than waiting for a proper evaluation. Unless the person we encounter has been formally diagnosed by a qualified professional, I just realized that I do not have the right to apply such labels to them.
In my daily interactions with others and in the content I’ve written on other social platforms about my experiences with betrayal, where I share my experiences of being betrayed multiple times, I have often considered labeling someone in my mind as “narcissistic” due to their tactics and repeating patterns of behavior.
However, today I felt a sudden shift in my perspective, leading me to reconsider the appropriateness of such labels. I realize it’s not good to label someone as “narcissistic” or use any “diagnostic labels” without a formal diagnosis. I should not apply such labels. Even if a person exhibits traits that might align with those of narcissism, labeling them as such is not appropriate without a professional evaluation.
Personally, I realized that I don’t like being labeled too, even if the traits assigned to me fit certain criteria. I realized now that it’s unethical for anyone to make such judgments without proper qualification, and it seems like we’re jumping to conclusions even though the person hasn’t been formally diagnosed by a professional.
Going forward, when I notice concerning patterns in a person’s behavior—whether it’s manipulation, a lack of empathy, or any other general behavior—I will focus on describing these specific actions and tendencies without applying a “formal diagnosis.” I prefer not to label the person without proper evaluation.Â
From now on, instead of labeling someone as narcissistic, I will simply describe them as someone who “exhibits challenging behaviors” based on my observations. This means that if a person shows patterns of behavior such as being deceitful, overly charming, or lacking empathy, I will focus on describing these specific actions rather than applying a broad diagnostic label. This approach allows me to address concerning behaviors without jumping to conclusions about the person’s overall character or mental health. By describing what I observe clearly and objectively, I can communicate my concerns without making unnecessary or potentially harmful labels.
That’s what I realized and learned today. I’m at peace now!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you ever faced similar situations or had insights about labeling behaviors?
Share your experiences or opinions in the comments. Thank you.
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