It is quite pleasing to watch our little girl growing up and turning every day of her life quite gracefully. As mothers, we naturally cherish those lovely moments and often return to our crazy childhood living. Slowly her kiddy trails start disappearing and she starts asking questions that we won’t expect to come from her. This is it…I admit. As a mother, I am quite anxious about my little girl’s response to one of the most crucial changes in her life—the stage when she transforms from a kid to a girl and a lady.
I decided to do thorough research on this topic to gather clearer and more helpful information about such an important phase. Even though we’ve all gone through these stages ourselves, we naturally become more anxious when it’s about our own daughters. I think all mothers out there are keen to know more, to help their daughters in the best possible way. So, let me share what I have gathered and what I want others to understand. Of course, some super moms aren’t as concerned about these matters, and I thank them for understanding and not mocking.
I’m not here to present any scientific or emotional information. I just want to share my thoughts and concerns and assure other mothers that we all have common worries regarding these changes. Here’s how I intend to do it:
The First Set of Changes and Where to start?
Whenever I talk about these things with fellow moms, I often think, “My girl is too young! She’s just 5 or 6 or 7 or 8.” But most health websites say that we should start paying attention around the age of 8. Not because puberty or her first period is imminent, but because the process typically starts at that age. For girls, puberty begins around ages 8-12, and for boys, it’s 9-13. (Will talk about boys for sure, but later. I can see the pocky face of my budding teenager out there. Please wait dear. Right now let’s focus on girls…)
The first signs are usually small breast buds on their flat chests. These are often the first noticeable changes, even though they might not recognize them at first. It’s a moment of revelation! Then come the hairs — everywhere — which can be a bit uncomfortable for them. You’ll also notice changes in their hips, weight, height, and eventually, their first period. Welcome to the world of monthly red spots, girls!
Our experience surely matters!
As women of yesteryears, all of us might have had different ways of experiencing our first periods and then the subsequent ones… Some of us dealt with the hassle of changing pads frequently, nausea, vomiting, muscle cramps — you name it. Others found it barely affected their daily routine. Whatever our experiences, let’s talk about it neutrally with our daughters. They’ll learn the technical details from websites, but they’ll come to us for the personal side. Let’s give them a balanced explanation — there’s no need for panic. Make it subtle, quiet and short…
Talk to her, be with her
Make her aware of the bodily changes that might occur. If needed, introduce her to a beginner’s bra. And most importantly, talk to her. Don’t make her feel apprehensive or embarrassed. Just think for a moment: how would we have felt if our mothers had constantly asked us about our little breast buds or secret hairs? Keep it subtle, quiet, and short.
What Supplies Do We Need?
We all know the basics to have on hand for menstruation, so no need to elaborate on that. But be particular about hygiene. There should be no compromises there. At the same time, teach proper disposal methods — our girls have a responsibility to nature and society as well.
I read about a “period pouch” in an article, and I thought it was a great idea. In addition to their pencil case in their school bags, a small pouch with spare underwear, tissues, sanitary pads, and anything else they might need during their period would be useful.
Don’t be guilty…
It’s also natural that we might not be with our daughters during their first period. Don’t panic or feel guilty about that. Once we’ve given them the information and knowledge they need, our physical presence isn’t necessary at that exact moment. Just be there for them when you can. Remember, they’ll start taking more and more responsibility without us, and this is just the beginning of them making independent decisions.
Friends: The Lifeline
Mothers of girls approaching puberty today were likely born in the late ’70s or ’80s — before the explosion of the internet, WhatsApp, or YouTube. Back then, most of our moms found it difficult to discuss these matters openly. The support we received and what we give to our kids today may differ, but one factor remains the same then and now…Friends…Those were our universities of private life, right?
We talked and talked secretly for long hours, hiding from adults and those sneaky brothers too, at times.
Let our girls too have that bountiful of friends with whom they can share whatever they want…Just ensure those friendships are healthy, and that’s all we need to worry about.
Embracing Womanhood
In a deeper sense, I feel happier and more confident when I see these girls ready to embrace the world of womanhood — the charm, the courage, the growth spurt, and the gift of procreation (whether they love to use it or not). They are becoming part of the entire procreation universe.
All of us moms in our late 30s and early 40s are surrounded by those cute smiles and curly lashes every day — whether it’s our own kids, a neighbour’s pride, a friend’s little charm, or naughty nieces. As experienced women and their mentors, we have a responsibility for their well-being in this society, don’t we? This is for all of us.
And to all moms: don’t panic! They’re our kids, and they can manage. Just be with them.
Please find below some articles I found helpful on this subject.
1.https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/your-daughter-and-puberty/
2.https://www.unicef.org/rosa/stories/how-support-your-daughter-her-first-period
This site is quite helpful in minute details. They have a lot of videos too to see together if you want.
3.https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/talk-about-puberty.html
4.https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Physical-Development-Girls-What-to-Expect.aspx
5.https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Parenting-children-through-puberty#puberty
6.https://www.crystalkarges.com/blog/girls-self-esteem-how-to-help-your-daughter-with-body-changes
This site talks more personally ;so easy to scroll with love…
Comments