Should I fall in love in Mojave? Or in Colorado? Or maybe in whatever else the place people fall in love? Or maybe in Quantico? Or Atlanta? I don’t know. But I have made up my mind. I will definitely fall in love.
Where do people start when they’re trying to fall in love? Was it on the highway? Eatery? Restaurant? Or maybe during church services? Well, I think it should start from approach? Yeah! Maybe approaching women will do?
But I was sad. I was sad because I was nervous. Approaching women? Especially when I didn’t want to? Hell! This gonna be a crazy task. I was nervous. Nervous but very determined.
So I set off north. And I saw a girl coming.
She was beautiful. Beautiful and sexy. Straight. Not too much of a beauty. But she worth it.
She was looking my way. Or maybe she wasn’t. But her eyes were darting over my face. And I’m scared. I’m scared because I wasn’t going to approach her.
I let her passed by. And I ignored her eyes as we passed each other.
But wait. What am I doing? Ain’t this useless? Making up bullshit excuses? No way! So I ran. Not to the opposite direction. I ran straight back to her.
“Hum sorry,” I said. Panting a little bit.
“I was scared coming over to you,” I said. Checking up her reactions. Not any.
“Scared?” she said, “But why?”
I don’t know why, I thought.
“I like you,” I said.
She smiled. Not blush. Just simple smile. Maybe coming from a long hard of experience. Getting hit by men up and down. Almost every fucking days of the week. Except the day she was sick. Or maybe the day she wasn’t walking along any fucking street.
“Thanks,” she said.
I don’t know what else. Asking for her number? Maybe. But I wasn’t going to ask for any fucking number. I’m going to ask for her instead.
“You free now?” I said. And I make it sound simple.
She was thinking. Somewhere between should I say yes or should I say no. Or maybe both.
“No! Why?” she asked.
Why asking why when you wasn’t free? I thought. Fuck you.
“I like you.” I said. Once again.
“I’ve got a boyfriend,” she said. “And I love him.” she proclaimed.
“Really?” I said.
“Yeah really, of course.” She said.
“Okay thank you,” I said, “And be happy with your boyfriend,” before I walked on farther the street.
Phew!
I relaxed.
It wasn’t easy. But anyway, it wasn’t bad as I’ve thought.
I checked the time on my phone. It said 7:53 PM. No problem. I have learned to start small. Always start small.
So I turned back. Heading back to my shabby apartment. But I like the place. No other way anyway. So I might as well get used to it.
Always badass. That will be my new name. I smirked.
I crossed to the other street. Where it seem my apartment somehow belong. Farther down the street. Deep down.
Always badass? Well, maybe it gonna be a great start. I smiled. Wonderful journey. The great start of a wonderful journey.
I Am Lasisi.
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