I USED TO JUDGE PEOPLE—UNTIL I BECAME ONE OF THEM!
There was a time when I'd look at certain people and say, "They'll never change." Those who cheated, hurt others, lied repeatedly, manipulated, or kept going back to the same toxic patterns—they seemed hopeless to me. But then, something happened.
I fell into a sin I never imagined committing—one that trapped me, I couldn't break free, even when I tried. It wasn't just a mistake; it became a pattern. And no matter how much I hated it, I kept going back. I asked God for help, but I still failed. Again and again. And that experience shattered my pride.
It took long years—of crying, trying, repenting, and falling again—before I truly began to change. But in that slow, painful process, God taught me something that changed how I see others forever.
The ones we judge the most may not be rebellious—they may just be stuck like I was. And until we've walked through that kind of darkness ourselves, we don't realize how hard it really is to escape it.
And you know what's even more surprising? It was only this year—now that I'm 40—that I finally matured fully and felt a kind of clarity and freedom I never thought was possible.
I couldn't believe how long I had been trapped in that sin, but now I understand: true change really happens when you're finally ready, when you truly want to turn your life around.
If you reach that point and surrender your weakness to God, He takes over. He strengthens you in ways you never could on your own.
5 REASONS PEOPLE THINK SOMEONE WILL NEVER CHANGE
1. THEY KEEP REPEATING THE SAME PATTERN
People often assume that if someone keeps making the same mistake, it means they don't want to change. Repetition looks like rebellion. And it's easy to forget that behind each repeated failure could be a desperate heart that simply doesn't know how to break free.
2. THEY'RE DEFINED BY THEIR TOXIC FAMILY OR SURROUNDINGS
There's a deep-rooted bias people hold: if someone comes from a toxic family or grows up trapped in unhealthy surroundings, they're automatically seen as the same. Even if they try to live differently, one small mistake reinforces the assumption that "they're just like the rest." In the eyes of many, they won't change—because people believe the environment shapes the person entirely.
3. THEIR PAST MISTAKES ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN
Once a person makes a mistake, people tend to watch their every move—waiting for them to slip again. No matter how small the error, it's rarely overlooked. Even if the situation was already resolved, it often gets brought up again during arguments, used as a weapon to remind them of who they once were. This constant reminder discourages change. They feel like no matter how hard they try, their past will always define them in other people's eyes—and that kind of weight can make anyone give up.
4. PEOPLE DOUBTED THEIR CHANGE, NOT THEIR EFFORT
Even when a person tries their best to change, they can still feel that others are being extra careful with them. There's always that thought in people's minds—"What if they do it again?" No matter how much effort they give to earn back trust, it doesn't feel the same. When they feel they're still being watched closely or treated differently, it slowly breaks their spirit. They start to think, "Maybe no one will ever see the real change in me." That kind of pain can push someone to give up trying, even when their heart wants to do better.
5. PEOPLE LOSE FAITH IN THEM AFTER REPEATED FAILURES
When someone has been given multiple chances to change but keeps falling back into old habits, people often feel discouraged and lose hope. "We tried," they say. "It's useless." This ongoing cycle of failure makes people believe that change is impossible for that person. They see them as unwilling to try, not realizing that change isn't always a smooth process. It's filled with setbacks, but that doesn't mean progress isn't being made.
5 REASONS EVEN THE WORST PEOPLE CAN STILL CHANGE—HERE'S HOW GOD PROVES US WRONG
1. GOD GIVES WISDOM TO THE HEART WHEN A PERSON IS READY TO CHANGE
When a person asks God for wisdom, He listens. That prayer itself is already a turning point. Even if it doesn't look like an immediate change on the outside, something begins to shift inside—a silent, powerful awareness that starts to grow.
2. THE HOLY SPIRIT GIVES A WARNING BEFORE YOU SIN
Even when a person falls into the same temptation again, the Holy Spirit sends a quiet warning—a moment of hesitation, a pause, an inner struggle. It might not always be strong enough to stop the sin right away, but it stays in the heart as a gentle reminder that what they're doing isn't right. And that small awareness becomes the first step toward real change.
3. GOD USES GUILT TO WAKE UP YOUR CONSCIENCE
Guilt isn't a punishment—it's a sign that your heart still knows right from wrong. When God allows you to feel guilty, it's not to shame you. It's to wake you up. That guilty feeling is a sign your conscience is still working. As long as you feel it, there's still hope for change. Guilt becomes a gentle warning from God, reminding you that He hasn't given up on you.
4. GOD CAN BREAK FAMILY TRAUMA AND TOXIC CYCLES
Even if someone grew up in a broken or toxic environment, that doesn't limit what God can do. God's power can break harmful family patterns. He can send the right people at the right time—like mentors, friends, or even strangers—to speak life and truth. And sometimes, all it takes is one powerful moment of surrender to completely change their direction.
5. GOD TURNS FAILURES INTO STEPPING STONES FOR GROWTH
Sometimes, even after asking God for help, people still fall back into the same sin. But that doesn't mean God has given up on them. He can use every failure to humble them, teach them, and make them stronger. What seems like a setback might actually be part of the slow but powerful process of real change and freedom that God already planned.
WORTH A LOOK
If this message about not mocking others and understanding their struggles speaks to you, take a moment to read my personal insight that opened my eyes: "Why I Stopped Labeling People: This Unexpected Insight Made Me Rethink My Judgments | Ember Rage"
Sometimes, the real growth comes when we stop judging and start understanding, realizing how far compassion and a willingness to change can take us.
FINAL THOUGHTS: IF WE WON'T SUPPORT OTHERS TO CHANGE, THEN STOP LABELING!
In this world full of temptation, it's nearly impossible for someone not to know what they're doing is wrong. But awareness isn't always enough to make them stop. Some are bound by the pain of their childhood, their trauma, or the environment that shaped them.
If we can't walk with them toward healing, then let's stop saying, "There's no hope for them." Maybe we've never been in their shoes—but that doesn't mean we never will be. What if, one day, it's us who struggle with something we can't control? What if God uses their story to teach us humility?
People change—not because we push them, but because God moves in them.
And if we can't help, then let's at least stop hurting. Every soul deserves a chance to heal.
Every sinner has a story. And every story matters to God.
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