I’ll wait for that SOMEONE

I'd rather let these unsaid words swallow me than let the fear of not being understood consume me again. So here I am choosing silence over explanations and expectations.

But does our heart truly accept these philosophical learnings and stop craving for acknowledgements and appreciations for our love or sufferings? Ofc NOT, not at all.

No matter what happened , here I am with a heart so broken , void so big , coldness and emptiness lingering.

Now I wonder how and why people give up on me so easily .

Why was I never worth fighting for? Why was I never worth the effort? I'm not that bad of a human, after all. I guess with some people, even if you give them your whole heart, it will never be enough.

But I'll wait.

I'll wait for someone who will choose me every single day because leaving will never be an option for him. Someone who will stay without the need of me running behind him to make him stay, who will show up even after the loudest fights and deepest traumas. Who will genuinely love me without having me to constantly beg him to treat me right. Who will appreciate my love & acknowledge my efforts every single day. Someone who will be glad to have me in his life. Someone who will value me and respect me the way I do him.

Someone with whom every single day I'll feel happy, cherished and loved. Who will understand my deafening silence without having me to explain, who will embrace my rage, anger and insecurities. With whom even the loudest silence will be comforting. Someone who will not make me question my worth.

So , I'll wait. When the next time love will knock my door I hope I'll live it without the fear of losing it, I hope it will be with the righ person and will be at the righ time <3