Wake
I could not move my legs. A tightness gripped them, I could’ve been paralyzed. It’s possible I didn’t have any legs at all; if only I could see, I would’ve been able to tell you. Crust had encased my lids, shutting my sight away. Dirt caked and clogged the inside of my mouth. Opening that would’ve been a dream to me as well. I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t speak. To be honest, I didn’t know if I was even alive. I was waiting for something to happen; whether it could’ve been hours, days or minutes, my concept of time was no longer even a concept.
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That’s when I started to hear faint voices. I could hear small echoes, but nothing more for a long time. Their sounds were small and far, like the chitter of mice inside a wall. If I could move at all, maybe I could have pulled their attention to me. I tried to manage a wiggle, but even that saw a quick end. I couldn’t shift either side of my body, either side of my chest to give off even a rustle.
That’s when I noticed the panic; the rapid thumps of my heart, the simultaneous inhaling and exhaling through my nose. If I could crack open my mouth, even in the slightest, my screams would have alerted someone to my presence. If that were the case, would I have received any help? What sort of situation was I in?
Questions started dancing around my mind in waves, torturing me.
Where am I? Is someone doing this to me intentionally? Is someone trying to harm me? What happened?
As I was trying to recall how I came to be here, that’s when the biggest question entered my head:
Who am I?
The panic and the stiffness rose within me; I could feel every ounce of my skin jumping, my blood would have fled from my body if it was possible. The inside of my nostrils were similar to that of a locomotive, my breath creating enough wind to be the smoke leaving a train. I needed answers. If there ever was a time for my brain to kill itself, it would’ve been in that very moment.
And then: light. A very sudden introduction of light to my eyelids stopped every process in my body and grabbed any inch of my attention I could give. I felt a slight release of pressure off my torso and face; my chest a bit cooler. While being preoccupied with my own preconceived peril, I failed to realize that someone had entered the room.
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I heard a slight rustle of clothing right next to my face. A split second of waiting felt like an eternity. Now, my breath was completely still.
I could feel a quick coldness touch my cheek; my head jerked the other way in an instant. The relief of the weight that was holding my head down now allowed me to move from the neck up. However, my legs were still immobile. I had no other option but to settle my head once again and wait.
Another rustle, I felt a gentle laying of fingers around the corners of my right eye. Still cold, but a more tender feeling. And then, scraping. I could feel the crust and muck around my eye being dragged off and uncovered. This was enough to make me wince, but not enough to forcefully stop the hand. After this, the hand moved on to the next eye. The pounds and pounds of crust that were caked around my lids were stripped, another pressure had been relieved and I could absolutely feel the difference.
“You’re awake”.
Move
“You can open them now”.
A voice; it was clear and comforting, floating lightly into my ears.
My eyelids then lifted and a harsh brightness entered, giving way to a whole new world of color. Nothing but a blurry flood appeared, until my eyes were able to focus on her: a short, brunette in a full nurse’s outfit. The long sleeved white button up was accompanied with matching pants, completed with the addition of a small hat on top.
“My name is Nurse Elaine, can you hear me?”
I struggled to pry open my mouth, but it felt heavier than my eyes did. I was able to manage nothing more than an internal whimper with my lips wholly encased. Even if I could have responded, I would not have known how to communicate.
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She smiled at me, seemingly understanding.
“Don’t worry, I will be right back.”
This time, the volume of her voice was raised a little higher. Her arms and hands were stretched in front of as if she was trying to communicate with me more effectively.
“Me and Nurse Rina will be here with you in just a second. Stay right here for me, okay?”
She stared at me, waiting for a response. After a delay, she nodded and opened her eyes a bit wider.
“Okay?”
All I could do was continue staring back as she was hovering above me. A moment passed and then she smiled, walking out of the room at a brisk pace. Looking at the doorway where she had passed, it had taken a moment before my neck relaxed. I laid my head back down and started to assess the room around me.
The light broke through the curtains on the window next to me, spotlighting floating dust particles. The size of the room was just enough to fit me so I couldn’t be expecting a roommate. Very minimal furniture adorned the room: a nightstand next to me with nothing on it, a dresser placed in front of my bed with an older television set on top and the very bed that I was laid in. This was when I started to notice my own body, my own skin.
What happened to me?
A char had lined what parts of my body I could see; my arms were a darker green pattern with big portions having the look of scabs on the verge of being peeled upwards. I could faintly see that my legs were of a darker hue as well through the heavy blanket placed upon them, leaving them to believe that they couldn’t be much different from my arms.
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If this is what my face looks like, I feel sorry for the nurses.
On top of the crisp that was laid on my limbs, I could see that they were very skinny; an unhealthy skinny that should not have been humanly possible. I could see every protrusion of bone, every vein that looked like it had not collapsed. My body must have been through a lot; to have survived whatever happened must have taken a very big miracle of sorts.
Two sets of footsteps were coming from just outside the door and then slight chatter once again. The talk continued for a while. And then finally, the door opened to reveal both of the nurses: the kind nurse from before and another who I could only assume was Nurse Rina.
“Hi, we’re back! Me and Nurse Rina are gonna take your vitals and then we’re gonna get you cleaned up for the day, okay?”
Nurse Elaine had the same smile plastered on her face that she had when she left the room, but Nurse Rina’s face looked offended; a curdled look of disgust washed over her mouth, face and eyebrows. I had a feeling she looked like that before entering the room.
Nurse Rina began pushing a cart full of equipment over to the right side of my bed, Elaine right behind her.
“Lift your arm.”
I stared at Nurse Rina as the words had left her mouth; I could tell she wanted me to do something, but I just could not comprehend. The best I could give her was a stare and an open mouth.
“Liiiift-”
She had begun to repeat herself with a newer, louder volume. Each letter was precisely enunciated and slowed.
“-Yoooour. Aaaaaaarm.”
Trying to get her point across with a physical demonstration of what she wanted me to do, Nurse Rina grabbed her arm using her other hand and raised it in the air to show me. That same stern look was glued upon her face. After the moment of our standoff had passed, she understood that she wasn’t going to get through to me.
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With a big release of air, she huffed and reached over to my side, completing the task she wanted done in the first place.
“Nurse Elaine.”
Nurse Elaine’s eyes widened as she realized it was now her time to resume her duties. She had been waiting longer than usual, causing her to zone out before her turn.
“Oh, yes.”
Her speed hastened as she rushed to my side with a pad in her hand. She wrapped around my arm, with another device in her other hand ready to be used in conjunction with the pad.
“We’re going to check your blood pressure, you will feel a tight squeeze for just a moment.”
She smiled at me once again, lips curled and eyes closed tightly. Her face in contrast to Rina’s was bizarre, seeing two opposites side by side working together.
She began squeezing air into a ball in her other hand, causing the pad to enlarge and tighten; the pressure built with every close of her hand, becoming more immense by the second. In comparison, the pressure of the sheets upon my body didn’t come close to the pain I started to feel from Nurse Elaine’s actions. My bones felt as though they could leave my body, my blood as if it could have shot from the tips of my fingers. If skin could have exploded, now would have been the time.
Although I knew she meant no harm, I could no longer hide the disdain in my face. I could feel my cheeks raise and scrunch together, a steady breath involuntarily started leaving my open mouth. Nurse Elaine could see the pain that I was clearly in.
The sound of the air squeezing into the pad suddenly stopped. Elaine’s mouth had dropped, as the compressions of her hand and fingers had halted.
“Is he okay, should I continue?”
I could feel the empathy coming from her, but knew that the empathy would stop there. At least my arm could rest for a second before the constrictions started again.
Rina nodded her head.
“Please, continue.”
The squeezes began once more. Elaine’s face had scrunched as mine had. She looked as though her pain for me was as heavy as the pain in my arm, her eyebrows furrowed. At this point, I couldn’t tell if their intentions were to help me or harm me.
The pad had reached its peak, finally deflating. My relief was starting to settle in. After that, other operations began to take place that I didn’t understand; my shirt was forcibly lifted and a cold, silver circle placed on my chest at different positions. My eyes, mouth and ears were brightly flashed and inspected. The entire time Nurse Rina remained stern while Elaine maintained her sweetness and attempted to comfort me. Lastly, Nurse Rina moved on to the final operation.
She stooped in front of my hospital bed, hammer in hand, staring at me.
“Please pull up the patient’s gown.”
Elaine moved to the front, rushing to shimmy the front of the gown up and pinning it with her hands just above my knees.
“Don’t worry, we’re just using this to test your reactions.”
Rina took the hammer and placed it right in front of my right knee, giving it just a quick and slight hit. All I could hear in that moment was a loud crack that filled the room as the lower half of my leg involuntarily and steadfastly raised slightly higher than the knee itself. A loud gasp left from Nurse Elaine’s mouth as we were all glued to the sight of snapped leg. This one didn’t feel as bad as the pressure that filled my arm earlier, maybe the shock from what happened overwhelmed the pain.
Nurse Rina jumped back for a second, dropping the hammer. A staring contest began once again, this time with Rina’s face filled with concern and bewilderment.
“Uhh, what do we… What do we do?”
Even Rina, someone who you could feel had seen quite a lot from being in the healthcare profession, didn’t seem to have the answer at first. After getting herself out of the brief daze she was in, she turned to Elaine to give her the next course of action. She sucked all the air out of the room around her, drawing and releasing a huge breath.
“You grab the thigh, I’ll grab the shin; we’ll force it back into place.”
Elaine, hesitant but ready, nodded her head and then swiveled around to get into position.
“You pull up on the thigh and I’ll push forward on the knee. Ready?”
Both sets of hands were placed around my legs, as I could feel them begin to synchronize with each other.
“1… 2…”
The seconds felt slow, the number two crawling on its hands and knees.
“3!”
The final second came with a swift strength from both nurses, cauterizing the wounds from the numbers before it. The knee flew right into place, the shin leveled once again. I only continued looking at them, mouth wide open the same as before.
“Let’s leave the other knee for now, his reflexes seem… Good.”
Rina was hunched over a little bit, holding the lower part of her back while breathing heavily. She took a minute to recuperate her senses before continuing their standard procedures.
“I don’t think you can understand me, but if you can, please know that your vitals look… Normal.”
She seemed more than hesitant to state the status of my health.
“Nurse Elaine… Please pull around a wheelchair and grab the bathing accessories for this patient.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Just like that, Elaine rushed out of the room to get the necessary items. Nurse Rina displayed a mixture of feelings through her body language that looked like a combination of stunned and confused. Her breathing had become normal again, but her hand was still supporting her lower back, her larger frame still slightly angled. Looking down at the ground, her eyes were widened. As to which part amazed her more, whether it be the scarred, discolored appearance of my skin or the quick displacement and brief proper placement of my knee, there was no telling.
The door started opening once again, with the back of Elaine’s head entering the room first with her hands wrapped around the handles of the wheelchair. She spins the wheelchair around to the side of my bed, revealing the accessories sitting in the seat. In a hurry, Elaine scooped up the supplies and placed them on the nightstand.
“We will now prep this patient for a shower. Now Nurse Elaine, I don’t believe this patient can understand us, so I believe we will have to strip him down ourselves. Please grab the patient’s arms and lift them straight up, I will shimmy the gown off.”
Elaine nodded and understood, prepared to do what must be done. She stood directly in front of me, grabbing at my arms.
“I am very sorry, but we must get you cleaned up, okay?”
She started lifting them slowly, releasing the sounds of bones cracking seemingly from every direction in my arms, finally getting them to an upright position. Rina was able to pull my gown off rather easily with no resistance.
“Okay, now we will continue to get the patience into his chair, okay? I will grab the top half and you get the legs.”
Nurse Rina swiveled around to get closer to me, positioning her arms through my armpits, while Elaine focused on the lower half.
“3… 2.. 1… Lift.”
And then I could feel my frame being lifted in the air. For a second, I almost felt as if I were flying. My frame felt very, unnaturally light. I could see the room, the world being blurred in a dizziness around me. But that only lasted for a second as I was in the wheelchair faster than I could have imagined. Within a second, I was mobile, moving faster and faster towards the bathroom door with Rina pushing me. Elaine, hands full of the necessary items, opened the door for us and smiled as we flew by.
The air in this room was slightly different, with the floor being spotless, brown tiles with a drain in the middle. The only other items that it consisted of was a sink and a toilet, the room feeling barren. Lighting up the room was a different colored light that gave the area almost a light green hue. We arrived at my destination: the middle of the bathroom floor. I could feel the wheelchair shake for a second, locking into the place.
“Nurse Elaine, the rag please.”
Elaine reaches out her hand to exchange the cloth to her. Rina’s hand fumbles, as the rag begins to fall to the floor. Instinctively, Nurse Rina bends down sharply without a moment’s hesitation.
“OOH-”
She let out a sudden exclamation and remained hovering over the rag on the floor. Her right hand sped to support her lower back. Her eyes closed shut and her forehead was wrinkled in pain. Elaine saw her in pain and immediately went to help.
“Nurse, are you okay? Don’t worry, I can handle the rest of the duties.”
She helped Rina up and gingerly supported back to the edge of my bed when I realized what Rina was trying to accomplish. I used any sort of strength from my arms and pushed against the sides of the wheelchair, forcing me to stand; my feet were not firmly planted, causing me to stumble a bit into the wall in front of me.
After a second passed, I realized I had to get my feet level and even with the floor. I then began to weakly walk. Completely hunched over, I hobbled over to the rag. I couldn’t understand at the time that I had to grab the rag with my fingers, so instead, I was able to use my hand to scoop it up from the edges, placing the curled up rag in the palm of my hand.
Obtaining the rag, I then sharply stood up, straightening my back and releasing another series of loud cracks. I then hobbled my way over, ready to offer them the rag.
“It’s okay really, just rest here and I will-”
Their eyes fixated on my open palm, until they slowly scaled up to meet mine. I then did my best to comfort them the same way Nurse Elaine comforted me: with a giant smile.
Rec Room
After my offer of the cloth was received, Nurse Elaine took to instructing me how to shower while standing up by herself. She wetted the cloth and then dabbled some body wash on the very top, following up by pretending to rub it around her body.
“See? Now stand under this shower head. You will start to feel some water, just let it run over you and then rub, okay?”
She stood in front of me, continuously pretending to rub her body and nod her head until I started mimicking her. She then put a dab of soap onto the rag and then intercepted my hand in mid motion, transferring the rag to me.
“Okay, that’s good, just keep doing that.”
She walked around the back side of me. I could hear a squeak and then the feeling of wetness washed over my entire body. I didn’t know how to react, so I continued to stand there doing the same circular motions.
“Okay, now we will do the head, okay?”
She then began rubbing the top of her head while nodding over and over, almost to the point of hypnosis. So I did the same, touching what tufts of hair resided there. We repeated this manner of actions for each part of the body that needed cleaning, moving from the head, to the arms and to the legs; each transition came with what sounded like the violent cracking of an entire forest falling all at one time.
And then, lastly, we moved on to the bottom-most part of the body.
“Okay, now we will get your behind. Watch me, okay?”
She then swiveled with her body around her back facing me. Bending over, she then began to mime, spreading her butt and rubbing around it with the imaginary cloth. I then began to do the same thing, starting with turning my entire body around the same way that she did.
“Wait, no-”
I bent over sharply, almost folding my entire torso inwards. My legs were spread far enough to where I could see her entire face clearly in my vision. She looked a bit shocked or maybe a bit scared at how flexible I was, so I took a page out of her book and smiled at her through the tunnel made with my thighs
“Ah, uhh-”
She still looked a bit shocked, even though she did manage to giggle a bit.
After putting her back at ease, she showed me the correct way and I finished up my first successful shower. I was herded back over to the sink area where I was handed a towel this time. The rubbing mimics began again from Nurse Elaine, but this time with more range involved.
“Wait here, I will get a fresh gown.”
She left the room and left me to study the rest of my immediate surroundings; there wasn’t much, but the bathroom mirror just above the sink did catch my eye upon a second look, it was just placed much lower than my head.
Is this where all of these are placed?
I knew the nurses were pretty short comparatively, but I didn’t have a clue what the rest of humanity looked like. I could see only a portion of my legs, but discovered that lowering my head caused me to see more of my waist leading into my torso. I could see what looked like splotches and scabs covering the entire surface area, my skin acting as a green-gray canvas for my blemishes. I turned my head sideways to the right and could see my arms, and then stooped down even further and looked directly in front of me to where my face was in full view.
I couldn’t help but to notice the size of my eyes were not matching up; the left eye was practically bulging, ready to leap from the socket, while my right eye might only be slightly protruding. Both were absolutely bloodshot.
It’s a wonder the nurses didn’t run from me when they first pulled the sheets back.
Nothing rested above my eyelids. Whether or not my eyebrows were burned off, they simply did not exist for me at the present moment. Moving above my eyebrows and wrinkled, discolored forehead, I could start to see the tufts of thin, darker hair resting wildly. There were two bigger patches surrounded by smaller strands gathering around them. I turned my head to each side, alternating to see each standing set of hairs flop to their respective sides.
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“Alright, let’s get you into a fresh gown-”
Nurse Elaine entered the view of the mirror. I could see a blurry version of her, placed in the top left hand corner. I could see a piece of Nurse Rina as well, nursing her back and staring at the floor.
“You’re still dripping. It’s okay hun, let’s get you dry before we get this on you, okay?”
Elaine took the towel and began to finish the job I never started, at first waving it wildly and semi-roughly on my body. A sort of crunch could be heard, as some of my skin began peeling.
“Oh- oh no. I’m sorry hun.”
I couldn’t feel it, so I just stared down at her. She then continued to dry me off, but this time with different tactics. She began patting down around my torso and arms in a slower and gentler manner, avoiding the sections of skin that were already lifted and peeled.
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Thank you for reading!
This is all I have so far! If you would like me to continue and are interested, please let me know!
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