There is one thing I do to deal with people who drain my energy and ruin my day—I restrict them on Facebook.
Yesterday was a tough day. I had so many things to do around the house, and on top of that, I have a strict routine that I follow to maximize my productivity. But unexpected tasks kept popping up, disrupting my flow, and by the time I tried to get back on track, I was already chasing time, trying to accomplish everything before my energy dropped.
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I have a certain time frame where I'm most productive, and I make sure to take full advantage of that period. But yesterday, that time frame closed too soon, leaving me with only about 10% of my energy. Then, out of nowhere, someone I've known for four years asked me for help with something she always relies on me for. I have helped her with this countless times before, but this time, I simply couldn't. I was drained. I politely told her that I was too busy and that she should handle it herself.
And then, the unexpected happened—she cried. She made me feel guilty, as if I had done something wrong. She was upset, acting as if I was obligated to help her, as if it was my responsibility instead of hers. Her reaction only made my frustration worse. Here I was, completely exhausted, and instead of understanding, she chose to guilt-trip me. To make things worse, she even started accusing me of things that had nothing to do with the situation, throwing unfair judgments at me.
That was the final point. Today, I restricted her on Facebook.
This wasn't the first time she acted this way. Every time I couldn't fulfill her requests, she would react negatively, either by complaining, acting upset, or making me feel guilty. It was as if my refusal—even when reasonable—was an offense to her, as if I was obligated to always say "yes."
But I kept tolerating it. I told myself I needed to be more patient, more understanding. I reminded myself of the lessons I've learned from motivational talks and religious teachings—about being kind, about giving without expecting anything in return, about showing more patience. So I kept giving way. I kept adjusting, convincing myself that it was the right thing to do.
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But now, after countless times of experiencing the same pattern, I see the truth clearly: Showing more patience doesn't always mean letting people walk all over you. It doesn't mean sacrificing your own well-being just to please someone else's unreasonable expectations. No matter how much patience and understanding you give, some people will keep taking advantage of your kindness, pushing your boundaries further and further—because they know you'll allow it.
And that's exactly what happened here. No matter how much I tried to be kind, it didn't work. Instead of appreciating my past help, she felt entitled to it. Instead of respecting my time and energy, she reacted as if I owed her. Instead of understanding my situation, she turned it around and and made it look like I was the one rejecting her little favor.
And that's when I realized: Some people don't deserve your patience. Some people only learn when you finally say "enough".
SELF-REALIZATIONS FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
1. I BETRAYED MYSELF BY LOWERING MY STANDARDS In my Facebook bio, I put my favorite quotes there: "Never accept anything less than you deserve. Remember, you teach people how to treat you." And yet, I went against my own principles. I allowed someone to repeatedly drain my energy and disrespect my boundaries. The worst part? I felt a deep anger toward myself for letting it happen.
2. THREE CHANCES ARE ENOUGH More than 50 times, I chose to understand this person. I gave her chance after chance, hoping she would change, but in the end, she only proved me right—she never will. I gave too much, and now, I am the one being seen as the bad person.
3. RECOGNIZE UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR EARLY AND ACT IMMEDIATELY The moment you see that someone's attitude is affecting your emotions and mental state, speak up. If they refuse to change and continue their toxic behavior, set thick boundaries. Limit your interaction with them. And if their presence still disrupts your peace, cut them off completely.
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4. DON'T FEEL GUILTY FOR PROTECTING YOUR PEACE Let people think whatever they want. At the end of the day, your actions are a direct response to how they treated you. Healthy relationships should bring peace, not stress. What I mean is that it's not my fault for setting boundaries or cutting someone off if they've treated me poorly. I shouldn't feel guilty for protecting myself. When someone disrespects your boundaries or drains your energy, your response is just a natural reaction to their behavior. It's not about revenge, but about taking back your peace. You have the right to protect your mental health, and setting boundaries teaches others how you deserve to be treated.
5. GUILT TRIP IS A TRAP—DON'T FALL FOR IT Some people will apologize, act regretful, and make you feel guilty for cutting them off. But the truth is, they will always repeat their behavior. You'll find yourself stuck in a loop of their drama, and before you know it, you're back to where you started. Change is difficult, and for many people, their behaviors are so deeply a part of them that they won't even attempt to change.
6. ACCEPTING MY LIMITS: I AM HUMAN, NOT GOD This is where I often fall into the trap. Religious leaders, motivational speakers, and preachers encourage forgiveness, patience, and understanding, and it's easy for them to give that advice when they're not the ones being drained. But when I'm the one facing negativity, it's different. I'm human, and I have limits. It's not about refusing to forgive, but sometimes, I need to step back for my own well-being. I recognize that I'm not God, and I can't handle everything beyond my capacity. When I reach my limit, I need to trust God to handle what I can't. While some may judge me for distancing myself from these unacceptable behavior, I can only do so much. It's okay to set boundaries to protect my peace while still showing compassion.
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7. PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF KINDNESS Many people continue their own ways, unacceptable behavior because they know others will tolerate them. They know we will try to understand, to give second chances. And that is our mistake. The world is not a place where you can afford to be too soft.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Right now, I'm still angry, irritated, and frustrated. That's why I restricted her on Facebook—because I didn't want that negativity in my space.
What I'm realizing now is that I have the right to feel the way I do. I respect myself for allowing myself to feel angry and frustrated—it's part of my process. These emotions are temporary, and they're valid. But here's the important part: I also have to hold myself accountable because I allowed this situation to happen.
I violated my own principles by not standing firm on my boundaries. I kept giving chances even when I knew deep down that I should've said "no" sooner. This is a lesson. This is the consequence of not protecting my energy and sticking to my own values.
Yes, she drained me. Yes, her behavior tested my patience and emotions. But the real issue lies with me. I gave her that power over me by not asserting my boundaries clearly and consistently. I allowed her to step over what I know I deserve.
When someone disrespects your boundaries or drains your energy, it's easy to blame them, but the truth is, I'm the one who allowed it. I have to accept that my reactions are part of a pattern I've allowed to happen. It's a hard truth to face, but it's the only way for me to grow and be wiser moving forward.
So instead of blaming others for their actions, I need to focus on myself and my choices. This situation is a consequence of me not protecting my own principles. It's a painful but important lesson that my energy, my time, and my emotional well-being are mine to protect. I cannot expect others to respect my boundaries if I don't do it myself.
This is the wisdom I need to embrace: I am responsible for the energy I allow in my life. I have the power to teach myself to be stronger, to be wiser, and to be more protective of my principles. And from here on out, I'll be mindful of how I allow others to treat me. I won't make excuses for their behavior, and I won't allow myself to be the one to blame when I've already recognized the red flags.
The journey isn't easy, but it's necessary. And I know I'll come out stronger and more at peace with myself, because I'm learning to honor my own boundaries—not just for others, but for me. This is how I show myself respect—by taking care of my needs and standing up for what I deserve.
This is it for now. I'm going to enjoy a cup of coffee and my favorite Twister snacks while I relax and reflect. Thank you for taking the time to read my content—I truly appreciate it!
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