More than a year ago, a colleague of mine in the office lost her father due to illness. I and all of our colleagues went to console her. After her father’s death, she took a short period of leave from work, and when she returned, she was fine and was behaving normally, as if she had not gone through a difficult crisis. One of us even went so far as to say that her father’s death did not mean anything to her, as if she had been waiting for it. Caring for him must have exhausted her. I do not rule out that there may have been a moment when she prayed for his death to find comfort.
I will not lie, some of us despised her a little, and we began to become convinced that she is a hypocrite. She appears to be loving when she really is not. Someone who is ungrateful towards his parents cannot give love to others.
Time passed and our dealings with her became cold, but she continued to be kind and meet our coldness with a small smile, until a month came when our manager invited us to lunch on the occasion of our achieving a major achievement at work. We all went and she was with us. We ate, laughed and enjoyed our time. She was laughing with full mouth. The food ended and we left the restaurant together. We stood watching who would go with whom and who would deliver who on his way, and so on. While we were agreeing, we found that she had suddenly left us and quickly crossed the road without saying a word. She was running at full speed. We were all worried about her, so we went after her. We crossed the road to the other side and ran after her, calling for her, but she did not answer. We saw her standing; Apparently she was talking to some guy. When we got there, the man was already gone. We looked at her to find out what happened? Why did you run so fast? Who was this man she was talking to? But… none of us could ask any of these questions, because she was simply crying… crying like a child.
On this day, a friend and I drove her to her home. She was like a doll, not speaking or looking at anything, just walking beside us in silence. The next day she did not come to work, nor the day after that, nor the day after that. The week ended without anyone seeing her. Although I usually avoid her, I and some of my colleagues actually worried about her, while the others did not care much and were surprised by my concern, saying that we usually avoid her, so why should I worry about her, and when I told them that her crying had affected me, one of my colleagues told me that no. I should be affected; This is an offer she made to gain our sympathy and make us deal with her again. I tried to contact her, but she did not answer me. After a short period, we learned of her resignation from work, and we did not see her again after that.
But yesterday I saw her, she was standing alone waiting for someone. I went to her to greet her. At first I thought she would treat me as coldly as I treated her, but she was kind to me as always. I could not resist myself and asked her about this day and the reason for her leaving work. She avoided looking at me and told me that on this day she thought this man was her father and that she was ashamed to return to work after we saw her crying in this way. I could not utter a single word.
Do you believe this? More than a year had passed since his death, but when she saw a man of similar height and wearing a shirt similar to his, she ran after him without caring about anything. She ran as if she was a little girl, eagerly seeking her returning father after an absence of a long day at work. Was she really hoping it was him? Or did she simply forget that he died? I don’t know exactly what she thought or felt at that moment, but whenever I think about the disappointment she felt when the man turned around and found him to be someone else, someone other than her father, I feel pain in my heart. Do you think she felt the sadness of losing him for the second time? Or was she unaware of the truth of his death all this time, and at this moment she realized it? When I looked at it again I thought…. Yes, we all cry like children when we lose a parent.
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