Protagonist of my own life

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12th September 2024 | 7 Views | 0 Likes

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Well every person is a protagonist of his own life. Everyone has their own stories, their own parts their own experience which makes them different from others. It is difficult to completely understand anyone until or unless you see their past life from their own perspective. Only after knowing little about other’s life, we start judging them on that basis. We just don’t understand what they have to say about themselves. 

It is also true that we ourself don’t know who we are or what were we to other people. As I am growing and soon I will be on my own to discover this world alone, I wonder how would I react to them or how would they react to my behaviour. How would they respond towards my attitude, my thoughts, my way of expressing my feelings on everything . Well that’s still a question because as I am growing day by day, I’m just not feeling like to talk to anyone. I don’t even want to talk with my old friends. I’m just lost in all the worries of the time about which I can only predict. 

Well, not everyone is like me in this age. Some people enjoy their lives, some just focus on one thing to achieve and reach a place where they think they belong. Some just lie down and think about their past. Some just try to discover new things each and everyday. Some are just doing everything but still feeling like they had done nothing and I belong to this category. I don’t know how many of the people belong to this category but I know this one thing that everyone is busy in their own things. Everyone miss their past lives, their childhood, their friends, families their loved ones and there’s no doubt that they would do anything to feel those moment, to live those moments once again. To laugh genuinely, to cry about something which seems worthless to them now. To again have those colourful minds dreaming about something to which they wanted to get but it is too good to be true in real life. 

Well but again as I said there are people who are doing different things in their life. What made them different to do those things or choosing different things to do in their life. Again, it makes me think about their childhood, it feels like their behaviour, their attitude towards life is different because of what they had experienced throughout life. What we are today right now, is just a mixture of all the experiences we had been through or we are being through. 

When I’m alone in these hours of night, I think about my identity who I actually am. Am I a nice, sweet, brave, ambitious daughter of my mother who is trying her best to provide me with everything to make my life comfortable. Am I a sister of my brothers who just wish for me to achieve something and handle myself in future. They are the people with whom I had spent my childhood, but do they know every part of my life. Do they know all the feelings I feel, all the thoughts that occur in my mind. It’s not like I don’t know the answer now. But accepting that answer hurts. 

My friends would probably be thinking that I have changed, but it’s not me who has changed. I’m still the same old person but now my situations are different. My attitude has changed towards life. Realisation of responsibilities and pressure around me has changed me. 

Tanisha Gupta

@Tanisha-Gupta

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