RAIN-KISSED REALIZATION
“Should I accept him?” she thought to herself. Her mind was stirred up by his chivalrous attitude. Deep within her cerebrum, she knew he was not the one she had been waiting for, yet she found herself unable to resist thoughts of him. The zesty camaraderie they shared caused her to momentarily set aside her childish desire for a dream man.
But as the time went by, their dates lost their initial charm. He remained as vibrant and cheerful as ever and she too continued to exhibit cheerfulness yet she couldn’t shake the lingering sense of emptiness in their dates, prompting her to re-evaluate her feelings and expectations in the relationship. Doubts began to creep in, and she found herself contemplating the true nature of the connection between Them
She sat silently at the window of her room, watching the rain splatter on the window pane. Tears rolled down her cheeks before she realized it. She let her palm slide across her face slowly and mustered a courageous smile to herself.
‘Life is so strange!’ she thought. The beep on her phone intruded her thoughts. It was him. Her gregarious nature gave way to a snotty girl recoiling deep into thoughts she seldom entertained. She feared the very idea of loneliness. Yet here she was, wanting to be alone. It was so unlike her.
Earlier, she waited for his texts. Days and nights passed in a jiffy in chats with him. She wanted to have fun, and Rishi was offering it in tons, which she couldn’t refuse. This day appeared very unnatural. Unnatural because she ought to have fun with him as usual, like she had been having for months. But strangely, she felt inept and lonely. Another beep jarred her from the moment. She looked at the cell phone annoyed. Another message from him.
She opened the message, “wanna meet?” it said
She deliberated for a while before answering.
“Not today,” she replied and hurled the phone onto the bed. Another beep. She knew what it would be, so she didn’t care about looking at it. She didn’t like lying ever, as she felt she was born out of the womb of honesty.
She analysed him in her brain while the maverick teenager within played the songs she sung with her dream man. She danced to the tunes for a long time. Although she knew no such exists on the face of the earth she still couldn’t overcome this obsession. Her longing for a dream man as a life partner remained insurmountable. She got so programmed by them that the more she tried to leverage Rishi’s thoughts, the more the tunes pounded on her, making her go nuts.
Years rolled on and she drifted away from him. Now she lives as a solitary figure, avoiding dates and forgoing the company of friends. Shifting into more sequestered life she relinquished the youth pastimes she once enjoyed.
She pulled out the drawers of her table, setting aside the unnecessary clutter that jammed the drawer, and felt for her diary. She stared at the brown cover of it. She flipped the pages delicately with her slender fingers. She smelled the pages, which reminded her of her negligence in recording the events of her life. This was the moment she had to write something, she thought. She dragged the chair and slumped. The days she spent with him, the moments of passion she had with him that took her into the world of delirium, she wrote it all, even the sweet nothings. As she penned she became acutely aware of the profound longing for the days imbued with romance and passion. The cascade of memories that stirred within her, painted her thoughts in the hues of nostalgia and melancholy.
Drudgery of work was intensifying with each passing day. Office has turned into a daily ordeal. The laborious tasks were sapping her energy. While work might be tedious, it acts as a crucial tether for her restless mind. A restless mind when idle, plunges her into a whirlwind of haunting thoughts from the past, intensifying the profound emptiness of the present.
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