Short Story: Neha’s Journey

“Ring Ring Ring..”, the bell hadn’t even stopped ringing and all the students were already running out of the class, impatient to not let any teacher take away their recess time. Well, actually, all but one student had left the class. Neha was still sitting in her chair, staring out of the window- she had been doing that often lately. At first, it was because staring out of the window helped her calm down; I mean who doesn’t feel calm when they stare at trees, the blue (or sometimes grey) sky or the spy the small birds building nests, right?… right? (at least that’s what she told herself when she first had these moments of escape) But the thing was, she noticed that soon the quiet, peaceful time staring out of the window was invaded by worrying thoughts- like unwelcome guests during the weekend. 

Neha seemed to be worried about everything, it was usually about her grades- she was in 11th grade after all and the subjects were definitely tougher than they were when she was in 10th grade. But over the last year, she found herself feeling progressively more stressed, she was sad that her performance and grades were dipping and she worried how it would reflect on her future. 

She often found herself thinking, “I wasn’t like this. I was a good student.” She wasn’t alone in thinking this either. Her parents were worried about her grades, a few teachers in her school had asked about her grades from years before and expressed concern about her performance. But it made things worse for her- she was self-conscious, her self-esteem was taking a hit and she felt the stress rising with every test she had to give in class.

“Hey, Neha, we were going to the canteen and noticed you were still here, want to join us?”, Aisha and her friends were standing in front of Neha and brought her out of her reverie. She was a little taken aback first since she thought she was the only one left in class. As if she was reading her mind, Aisha said, ” Oh, I realized I didn’t have  money with me for the food, so I came back to get my wallet. Why don’t you get yours too, and we all can get some food?” She nodded, took out some money, slowly got up and followed them to the canteen with her mind filled with thoughts and her shoulders drooped from the tension.

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“…….Really Neha, if you keep going like this, you won’t pass this year’s exam and you can forget about 12th grade boards.” Sudha ma’am, her Physics teacher was saying something to Neha and she was so dazed by her scores in the mid year exams, that she only heard the tail end of what her teacher was saying. ” You really need to focus Neha, it is disappointing to see you going in this direction. At this point I am worried that you don’t even want to try hard”, Sudha ma’am continued in front of the whole class. At this point Neha had so many similar experiences in exams, in front of her classmates that she wasn’t even sure what she felt, she was numb. She had tried though, but maybe it wasn’t enough. She was working hard, attending tuitions, spending most of her days in coaching classes so that she could crack entrance exams and get into some of the best colleges- she was trying and yet she was left behind in this race. Her classmates were watching her with pity but Neha did not raise her head. 

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The school day seemed longer than the previous one and Neha was practically dragging her body out of the class- she just wanted to go home and forget the world. But as she was heading towards the door, Aisha was standing there looking concerned. “Hey, I was a bit worried today when Sudha ma’am was scolding you. Are you okay?”, she asked. Aisha and Neha had been classmates since II nd grade; while they weren’t close friends, they were always polite to each other and attended common school clubs. Both of them were great students throughout their school lives, so she knew how much the poor grades were affecting Neha now. 

“Hey Aisha.” she said.  Sigh.. “The truth is I am not fine. I feel horrible about my grades. If I don’t do well, I will be such a disappointment to my family- they have so much hopes from me and I will fail them,” at the last part her voice trembled. Truth was, Neha was also ashamed of not being as good as her classmates or all the other students who consistently do well. Aisha was saying something that brought Neha back from her ruminations, .”…. and talking to her has helped me so much”, she finished saying with a smiling face. Neha furrowed her brows in confusion and understanding her, Aisha repeated what she had said. Apparently they had a new School Psychologist (since most schools should have a psychologist and special educator) who had helped ease Aisha’s own stress too. First, Neha was shocked to know that she wasn’t alone in being stressed about her future and secondly, she didn’t even know their school had a psychologist who might help her. Neha’s face was blank as she stared at Aisha and almost on cue, she handed Neha the details of the psychologist, waved her goodbye and left.

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Neha was staring at the name of the Psychologist the entire evening and the next morning she decided to go to the school’s counselling center and set up an appointment. The fascinating part was that she saw some of her seniors, juniors and batchmates there too- it seems many others were struggling too and wanted to seek some help. The Psychologist was really patient and helped her open up and all the things that she was insecure about, that seemed irreparable, started to no longer feel like that. 

Neha spent an hour every week talking about her worries and the Psychologist not only helped her manage her emotions but also discussed different skills to help her manage her time, her emotions and work load. Both Aisha and Neha also become better friends because of their shared experiences and often shared the study skills they used. 

The Psychologist also held workshops talking about the importance of mental health and building stable support systems and encouraged parents, teachers and students to attend them. Most parents and teachers attended the workshop including Neha’s and Aisha’s parents and they all left gaining so many new insights. Not surprisingly, Neha’s grades started improving too because she was no longer bottling up her emotions, belittling herself and shooting metaphorical darts in the dark to see what would help her. Instead, she was talking about her experiences in a non-judgmental space, she was feeling her emotions and understanding the root causes; she also learned and practiced new time management skills to help her study better. To Neha, the future didn’t seem as bleak anymore- she did not magically turn into a class topper like she used to be. Instead she had gained more patience towards herself, a curiosity to learn and practiced proper work ethic to improve many different aspects of her life.

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