Ten things you can do if you are facing a neglecting spouse

Dear, are you facing a bad spouse? Ill-treated by one who should love you most? Don’t be oppressed. At least ten things you can do if you are facing a neglecting spouse.

1. Don’t be in a rush to end the relationship.

Holding this belief will halt you from making an unthoughtful decision:

“A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.” — Unknown.

Before mentioning or taking any action to end the relationship, consider deeply where to live, when to leave,how to support your life etc, and any issues concerning your future life and beliefs. Just like your marriage, there is a list of things to prepare beforehand. Why not get well-prepared for your new life with a list of good things to do beforehand?

2. Seek communication and mutual understanding with him whenever possible. Try listening with empathy rather than judgment. Ready to make acceptable adjustments or changes , seek personal growth and greater commitment to your own duties and faithfulness. Let his(her) worst bring out the best in you, not the worst.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” — Robert Quilen

3. Don’t be discouraged,devastated or downgraded by him.

“Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.” — Pinterest.

You deserve love though you can’t find any love in him or her. This might be a good chance to reflect on your own life and growing up. Keep yourself positive and healthy and embrace all possibilities. You might get someone to love you more after that. Who knows. Someone who suits you two is waiting for both of you.

4. Don’t take revenge or try to do or say something which downgrades your conduct or puts you into further trouble.Tit-for-tat has no good consequences.He doesn’t deserve you to do something which further hurts yourself or your beloved.

5. Don’t blame anyone but try to ask what is really in his and your mind. If discussion and mutual understanding are still possible, value them and seek mutual agreement at least on some practical issues that both of you must have consent.

“A great marriage is not the union of the perfect couple, but an imperfect couple who accepts and embraces each other’s flaws.” — Anonymous.

No need to blame anyone now. Put all the blame on yourself or anyone will only torment you and make the situation even worse.

6. Protect yourself and your children and all you love.

Whenever possible and needed, consider this as the most important factor that you must leave as soon as possible if either one of you is in physical danger or emotional abuse. Even though there might be financial strain or consideration, to be safe is the first priority. Don’t underestimate the negative influences on a benign from emotional abuse.

7. Distant yourself from him physically and emotionally to avoid further hurt from your spouse, whenever possible.

To avoid physical hurt, you must get protection from any potential attacks. If you can’t physically leave him or her yet, try to preserve your emotional health by keeping safe physical and emotional distance. For example, take your spouse just as a stranger, an unfriendly roommate, an unkind landlord or even a bad relative, so that your emotional hurt might be lowered because you don’t have any expectation of his or her loving word or loving action.

8. Seek support, advice and wisdom from all resources, especially your faith and religion. Even the advice comes from professionals, friends, relatives, or your faith, no need to take at once without thorough understanding and long-time consideration. Listen, think, read, pray, wait, believe and trust. Don’t rush to a haste decision.

9. After trying all and believing your marriage is irreconcilable, you still need time to know clearly the process and matters you need to consider first before rushing to divorce. Especially when you have children, financial strain, debts, properties and so on. Get yourself well-prepared for the worst day that will happen.

10. Finally, always remember “the only person you really have control over is yourself” — Deborah Reber.

So live a happier and wiser life no matter how hard the situation is or what stage you are in. Guard yourself against feelings of bitterness or negativity. Continue to treat anyone well so that Angels might come to help you. You can lose your husband or wife, money, property or even children, but you can’t lose your life. Without life, you lose all these things. Without a life of well-being, you can’t enjoy all these things.

It doesn’t mean that only these ten ways you should consider. There are more resources than you need. Reach out, get connected, be optimistic and wise, there are many better things ahead waiting for you. Go towards the Light , other than in the dark, no matter what.#marriage

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