This year has been particularly slow for me in terms of any movement in my personal and professional life. I won’t say I have lost a lot but I have probably not met a few milestones, that people would like me to achieve in my personal and professional lives. There have been some achievements of course, but largely I have been in the waiting mode for a lot of things. This period of wait has taught me a few critical lessons which I would like to share here:
1) People make the wait worse by simply discouging you from whatever it is that you want to achieve.They view every situation with their own lens and if it does not meet their defined checklist for success, they outright reject it.But every situation is different.What might not have worked for them might just work for you! If you really want something and you are taking steps to achieve it, important is not to get swayed by people’s opinions and be focussed on whatever it is that you want. Give up only when you feel it is unachievable, not because people have tried to shove their opinions aggressively down your throat. The truth is whatever people think, you need to go for what you want. They are as clueless about the outcome of the situation as you are, simply because life is unpredictable and it does not go the way anyone thinks. The other fact is, even if things don’t work the way you want them to, it is you who will have to pull yourself out of the sifuation and people will be doing the same thing that they are doing now – give unsolicited advice! When your heart is in something and you feel passionate enough to go for it, be your own guide.
2) Intimate details of your personal life or professional life should be kept private, specially when the goal has not been realised yet.The first reason is that same it gives people less scope to give an opinion on what you should do and distract you or discourage you.The second reason is the you don’t want to bring anybody else’s attention to what you are trying to build and might take a bit to complete it. Trust me, you can’t really predict how people will react to your situation. Even if they don’t directly give you unwanted advice, they might just prematurely start talking about it to others and that might harm your cause in some way. In fact when you are trying to have a conversation with anyone, you should try to share as less about yourself as possible and instead be in the listening mode more. Who knows ,you might pick up few new things through listening which actually might help you in your journey too. When people are just expressing themselves instead of advising you. chances are they are not so biased.
3) You might be a communicative person and still need to share things about yourself.In fact not being able to be vocal about something, that is bothering you, might suffocate you. Well in such circumstances, ask yourself- do you really just want to share your problem with another person or you need a solution from them? If the need is to just share, then simply make a journal entry or write an anonymous blog post. This will ensure that you have expressed yourself, without the additional baggage of people telling you it won’t work. If you feel you need advice, you might just turn to primary relationships in your life ( parents, spouse, children, siblings), provided they are mature enough to give you advice. The best measure would still be to listen to your inner guidance or your inner voice. If somehow you are not in a position to help yourself, then do yourself a favour, talk to a therapist or a life coach, people who really have a professional experience in solving problems. It would be far better than talking to rookies, whose own lives are in a mess, but they are still trying to guide you forward in your life path!
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