Are you well prepared to get married or acquainted ?
To be married or acquainted or not? (below I will only use “married” ) Is getting one of your life plans? When we are thinking of marriage, what comes to mind first? To date someone, join a dating app or group? Getting physically fit and attractive? Plan a marriage ceremony, book a wedding photographer or buy a new house?
Let us ask ourselves 10 questions before doing any of the above?
1. Do I really want a married life? A married life means a life between two people, not one. Do you have the interest or are you ready to share your life with another person? You might need to share your money, your rooms, your privacy , your history and most importantly, your valuable and limited time.
2. Am I really suitable for a married life?
It seems that not too many people take this question seriously before getting married or dating or having sex. Getting close relationship might give you enjoyment, but require responsibilities and commitment which you might resist and hurt the relationship.
3. Am I ready for married life now?
You want to get married doesn’t mean you are ready for it. Even If you have someone deeply in love. In most cases, the most you want to get married, the most you are NOT YET READY.
4. Am I sure what kind of person suits me most?
Who is your dream life partner? Well-educated? Rich? Smart? Humorous? Diligent? Romantic? Focus on the ideal might blind you from the flaws and fatal weaknesses.
5. Do I have the ability to communicate my feelings and needs well to my life partner?
Even if you are a good communicator, it doesn’t mean that you can communicate your feelings and needs well to your life partner. Why? Life partners are the closest persons who need trust and intimacy which you might not have ever come across.
6. Do I have the ability to understand my other half or another sex ?
Same as the above one, don’t think that you can go along with any person so that you can win the hearts of your other half, especially the other sex.
7. What kind of a life partner would I like to be?
Maybe you have long established your values to be the kind of person you want, have you thought of building up yourself in terms of a life partner who has to adjust to your partner?
8. Was I completely recovered from my past suffering in my different stages of life? If you haven’t recovered from sickness, sure you won’t do any exercise or commit to a new role, right? So, sure you won’t step into a new page of life, a new home with a new family member, if you are still carrying your previous infliction.
9. Am I, as well as my future partner, mature enough to get married at this stage?
Different people gain maturity at different ages. Someone may mature in certain areas but act like an idiot in other spheres, especially in close relationships. Therefore, don’t judge by someone’s knowledge, education level, work performance or even personal contribution.
10. Was my relationship with the one I love mature enough to get married?
Maturity means how deep both of you are devoted to the life of two persons joining as one. It doesn’t mean that you have known each other well, living together for a long time, or you have seen how much you love each other. Work hard on all issues concerning two different persons committing their lives to a long lasting marriage.
Of course, it takes time for thinking and experiencing all those perspectives. Actually, don’t wait until you are getting married soon. Pay attention and time to all those areas as early as possible. Parents also should take these topics into your list of family education with your children. Don’t wait until it is too late.